2011年3月2日 星期三
Never give up can achieve your goal
In May 2005, an athlete won a champion which he got in a one hundred miles running game for he had a lot of trainings. However, he wanted to become a famous athlete. As a result, he practiced running day and night. Unfortunately, he didn't take a rest until he was sent to the hospital for his broken leg. Although he was in the hospital, he still wanted to come up with his dream. By means of his patience, he was committed to practice running with one leg. As the proverb goes, " No pain, no gain." He defeated all athletes from others countries and won the world cup champion finally. To sum up, the story tells us not to give up when you are faced with any difficulties.
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*champion 改成championship
回覆刪除by純嘉
in a one hundred ...是an one...
回覆刪除an athlete won a champion which he got in a one hundred miles running game for he had a lot of trainings. However, he wanted to become a famous athlete. ....他已經得了第一名還想不夠有名?還是想要更有名?
a famous athlete. 改成全國性的??
回覆刪除one hundred miles 改成 one-hundred-mile
回覆刪除he had a lot of trainings 怪怪的 traind a lot比較好一點吧 :))
come up with his dream 應該不能這樣用ㄅ
用realize或come ture
any後面加單數名詞喔
標題有錯 雙動詞出現
然後 覺得整個文章有誇張到喔
1隻腳再怎麼努力 怎可能跑贏其他各國厲害的選手
還不錯 :D
回覆刪除不過冠軍好像不是那樣寫
World-class cup 世界盃
回覆刪除others =>other
回覆刪除the story tells us not to give up when you are faced with any difficulties. 我覺得when要不要改成even though 即使比較好呢 大部分都不錯
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