2011年6月1日 星期三
Discussing Cause-1
There are several reasons why Mr.Williams failed on his business. First of all, the small music store is so far away the shopping center and it is not conspicuous. Therefore, it is not easy to find where the small music store is. Secondly, the kinds of music in the shop was so simple that it was difficult to choose more. For example, I like jazz music, but the store only offered hip-hop and rock, I won't buy anythings in the shop. In addition, many people would like to do their shopping on the weekends,but the shop only opened on Monday to Friday. Most importanly, modern people always depend on using credit cards, but Mr.Williams refused to accept the customer to use their credit cards. Hence, the customer will move to another shop where has credit cards service. To sum up, we should think twice when we want to start a business by ourselves.
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far away 可以+個 from
回覆刪除example那邊有一句少了連接詞喔
大致上還不錯!!
First of all, the small music store is so far away the shopping center and it is not conspicuous. Therefore, it is not easy to find where the small music store is.
回覆刪除感覺後面那句有點多餘 不起眼就是不容易找到了
but the store only offered hip-hop and rock, I won't buy anythings in the shop
I won't 前面加個so吧?
the small music store is so far away the shopping center
回覆刪除不是距離很近ㄇ? 你怎寫很遠= =
單複數注意
都是小問題啦
so far away the shopping center
回覆刪除+個FROM吧
for example 可以改成
take me as an example
其他還有一些些問題
其他都不錯喔喔喔
題目好像看錯了~
回覆刪除其他都還可以